Based On A True Story

home    message    theme
Jessica. 21. New York. Capricorn.


Remember back in 5th grade, when everyone vowed not to ever do drugs

(via perks-of-being-chinese)


My grandma said that when I was born, since I’m a twin, she didn’t want to hold one of us first this way we didn’t think she loved one of us more so she opened her arms and held both of those at the same time and isn’t that the cutest thing ever



ladies, if a guy doesn’t eat pussy but still expects to get his dick sucked… laugh right in his face. laugh as you put your clothes back on. leave the room in the midst of your laughter. go home while laughing. keep laughing for the rest of your life. never stop laughing.

I need to implement this. This is my fucking life right now.

(Source: donniedarkos, via roughsexmakesmewet)

Woman:*on cellphone* Why am I leaving you? Why am I--I'll tell you why.
Woman:Here's why. You don't respect me.
Woman:You called me a whore in front of my children.
Me:*says nothing, but has a face like O.O*
Woman:You don't respect me. And you know, there some white chick here in the store, she walking, she heard me say that and she make a face.
Woman:Because even she know you a piece of shit.